It may seem odd that I always look on the bright side of things, but that’s how I roll. I’m an optimist- ninety-eight percent of the time.
I don’t enjoy writing the other two percent of the time, when I’m feeling down and out. I don’t even like thinking about the times when I wanted to give up. The nights when I wondered why I was still breathing. It seemed like my life was meaningless, and I had nothing left to offer.
That’s how I felt when I had to move in February. I had lost my job that paid my rent, and I had no other options. I don’t think I need to explain why I lost my job- it’s pretty self-explanatory.
I hated the idea of moving. I had spent a year and a half decorating my place with second hand treasures, and I was SO proud. I LOVED my things! I never spent enough money on things to merit paying for storage though, so I knew I’d have to let so much of it go.
I cried for days!
But…I was miserable living there! My friend Sherry pointed that out to me, and she was right. I realized that my “things” were holding me hostage. I had created my own prison, trying to hold on to all of that stuff, and now the shackles were coming off. I gave away almost all of my furniture to family, friends, neighbors and the Goodwill.
The day that I watched my son’s truck drive off, full of my old belongings, the sun peeked through the clouds and lit up my face. It felt SO beautiful! I realized how long it had been since I had enjoyed the outdoors, and I felt a remotely familiar feeling. That feeling that I get when I’m on a road trip…
Like the morning that I woke up in Colorado, when it was so eerily quiet that I could hear a pin drop…and I realized that tiny snowflakes had silently covered the entire landscape overnight…with a beautiful white canopy. And that moment when I was sitting on the trailer porch in Arizona, and the night suddenly looked like day… as thousands of lightning bolts lit up the sky at once. Or while driving through Utah, when my car was swallowed up by deep canyons, sheer cliffs and majestic rock formations…
That feeling that life is just as it should be. No tangible explanations, no concrete answers…just an awe-inspiring, indescribable understanding that everything outside of that moment is insignificant, and that God has everything under control.
So… with palms up, I looked to the sky and offered a silent prayer of gratitude.
I was ready to soar.
Next Up: A Step Forward
But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.